If you live in a Lebanese city, you’ll surely be able to relate to how stressful everything is, beginning with your personal life, all the way through to work, driving, money, etc. Therefore, gathering with your friends, colleagues, family, or partner in a café by the end of a hectic day would often sound like a plan to wash the stress away, but not always, as chances are you will be encountering some of the below typical Lebanese profiles there!
Let’s set the record straight here. These types of people are not coming to enjoy the Shisha, the view, the music, the socializing, or anything we usually seek to enjoy in our casual laid-back cafés. They’re often confused about the definition of a “Café” as they’re always so well-dressed up from head to toe as if attending an event or partaking in a catwalk run.
In fact, whether it’s a cake-faced girl or a gym-obsessed muscular guy, you can’t possibly miss them in the crowd. And if they think you did, it is the walk back and forth around the tables, their cell phones to their ears, in an endless call, ensuring your attention. Please, oblige us all, give them a look so we can enjoy our easygoing evening!
This gang is often composed of guys and/or girls who come to the café to have some very LOUD TALK that most probably, and nearly nobody, cares about. You almost feel that they’re sitting with you and you can’t even hear your own voice.
They’re always like: Dad doesn’t want me to study in the UK. How about Santorini next week? And so on, as if you, a total stranger sipping your coffee nearby, was planning to join.
No, no, don’t expect an invitation! That’s not the point. You, my friend, are just part of their audience, assumed to be highly interested in their ‘exciting’ lifestyle.
This one has newly got his car and still didn’t have the chance to do enough city show-off cruises. He, in fact, has just paid the Valet Boy some extra money to park his car in a very strategic place where everybody can get to see it! In reality, this fellow belongs to the previously mentioned gang and, chances are, he’s sitting with them!
These characters often come to the café feeling very angry and mad – God knows why- and displaying it. They aggressively put on their tables a million things; 5 or more mobile phones (among which only 1 would have a SIM Card), 2-3 cigarette packs, more than 2 lighters, wallets, etc.
These fellows enjoy being on their own…. and in their personal bubble. They almost come every day to the café to have their “Shisha” and play PUBG or any other addictive game. Lo and behold, they might also be there to just enjoy sitting and screening the area (and you) behind their shades, making their own secret analysis of their surrounding fellows; or just none whatsoever.