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    3 Mins Read

    Lebanese Dark Jokes That Make The Best Of Our Crises

    By Souad LazkaniSeptember 26, 2020Updated:September 27, 2020
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    Lebanese people often resort to their unmatchable humor to get them through the day. Regardless of all the problems we face, we always find a way to laugh about it. It’s literally our defense mechanism.

    https://twitter.com/alaskastardust/status/1288845723455324166?s=20

    Let’s look at what Lebanon has been through in the past year. First, Lebanon’s debt became a huge issue. Then we had a life-changing anti-government revolution demanding change.

    Instead of fixing things, the government just sends our economy down the drain. Now everything is expensive, like meat, so people had to stop buying it. Then even more basic things became hard to buy.

    Of course, the global pandemic had to hit us from one side making the economic situation even worse – and killing people too.

    Alas, the port explodes… No joking matter there, except for the fact that it was allegedly caused by a welder. Then it seemed like a welder was on the loose because more fires started breaking out.

    And finally, our president told us we’re going to hell if the government does get form soon, which seems to be the case.

    Akh, what can you say? Well, you can make jokes… and also get a mental health check. (Not that jokes won’t be also running loose at the clinic).

    Jokes about our fantastic, one-of-a-kind electricity…

    Who wants to go out on a date with me on the rooftop to watch this wonderful view? pic.twitter.com/BNI84iP9Ui

    — Omar Tamo (@OmarTamo19) July 28, 2020

    When you remember that the blast investigation was supposed to end in 5 days…

    Investigation into #BeirutBlast so far. https://t.co/ElT5ZWTRw4

    — Kareem Chehayeb | كريم شهيب (@chehayebk) August 21, 2020

    “No welding allowed”

    Shop in Monot, Beirut doesn’t want to take any chances: no eat-in, only “take away” as precautionary measures against coronavirus.

    Also: “no welding allowed in this area, thank you”. 🤔😂 pic.twitter.com/WmrnRHYw6w

    — Halim Shebaya (حليم شبيعة) (@halimshebaya) September 15, 2020

    A legit question…

    https://twitter.com/RimaRassi/status/1300774249485959174?s=20

    Fancy lentils, the new staple…

    شفتوا كيف اختفت الطبقة الوسطى pic.twitter.com/MprtlCWPht

    — meh (@muztava_k) September 1, 2020

    Translation – See how the middle class disappeared?

    The fastest way to emigrate…

    يلّي كان يهددني أنا وصغير ويقلّي :
    "بفقعك كف بجيبك باميركا"
    خلّي يحكيني ضروري

    — Dan Azzi (@dan_azzi) September 7, 2020

    Translation – To whoever used to threaten me when I was young that he’d slap me so hard it would send me to America… Let him contact me urgently.

    On the fires that keep happening…

    To all my non Lebanese friends asking about what's happening, don't worry it's nothing we're having a huge BBQ 😊.

    عم اكتب بالعربي تا ما يفهمو، ما بق الي عين قلن انو فساد ونحنا ساكتين.

    — Farid Hobeiche (@FarixHobeiche) September 10, 2020

    New dangerous weapon…

    من أخطر الأسلحة بالعالم:
    – الصواريخ النووية
    – القنبلة الأميركية MOAB
    – القنبلة الروسية FOAB
    – معلّم التلحيم اللبناني pic.twitter.com/Xt8nbKXcae

    — C. (@libchafc) September 10, 2020

    Translation – The most dangerous weapons on earth:

    • Nuclear missiles
    • The American MOAB bomb
    • The Russian FOAB bomb
    • The Lebanese welder

    The new sworn enemy of Lebanon

    Welding is the new Israel

    — Farrah Berrou (@farrahberrou) September 15, 2020

    Trilingual Lebanon 2020

    Khalas. Enough. Ça suffit. #Beirut #Lebanon

    (Adapted version for 2020 of “Hi, kifak, ça va?”)

    — Halim Shebaya (حليم شبيعة) (@halimshebaya) September 10, 2020

    When your president tells you we’re going to hell…

    Dear @Canada

    Our president just said we are definitely going to hell
    I seek asylum for my family and myself.
    We don't want to go to hell with such corrupted political leaders.

    Best Regards
    Lebanese citizen#رايحين_عجهنم

    — Rommè (@RamyNaffaa) September 21, 2020
    https://twitter.com/Ezel20285676/status/1308151880695062531?s=20

    ticket for Jhanam😂#رايحين_عجهنم pic.twitter.com/QeDc9cL8zF

    — 🏥 (@Raven82486751) September 21, 2020

    (Jhanam = Hell)

    All the trust in our health system…

    When you are excited about the negative result for a pcr test but remember that you havent done one .#Covid_19 pic.twitter.com/BeZGghPpyE

    — Paola Rebeiz باولا ربيز (@paolarebeiz) September 12, 2020

    …And in the seriousness of our official lockdowns that have breaks in between…

    Source unknown

    “Only in Lebanon… From Monday to Friday, a coronavirus lockdown, on Saturday civil war, and on Sunday beach and grills.”

    What can we say? Nothing beats the Lebanese humor, not even if the ground quakes underneath us!

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