We have a love-hate relationship with Lebanese family gatherings. They’re heartwarming at overwhelming at the same time. Pretend that you’re not offended when your relatives ask you personal questions during lunch, and you’ll be fine.
#1 “Fi hadan hek hek?”
#2 “Bi chou 3am tetkhasas/tetkhasase bel jem3a?”
Here we go again.
#3 “Aymata rah tetjawaz(e)?”
Most millennials can’t even afford renting a decent place in Lebanon. How do you expect us to get married 3ammo?
#4 “Ya chou do3fan(e)/noshan(e)!”
I will just pretend that I did not get offended.
#5 “Wled hal jil bi dalloun 3al internet!”
Says the relative who sends you 50+ Candy Crush notifications on Facebook.
#6 “Kif l jem3a?”
*I have a deadline tonight but instead of completing my assignment I’m wasting my time here, one of my group project partners is not working, and one of my professors is not posting the slides on Moodle* “Eh kello tamem!”
#7 “3tine bawse”
#8 “Kif ya3ne ma btetzakarne/btetzakkarine?”
Maybe because the last time I saw you was the day I got baptized, Samira.
#9 “Ebne smalla 3le ma fi metlo!”
Add him on Snapchat, tante.
#10 “Chou kebranin!”
Well yeah this is how things work.
#11 “Rouho se3do l tante.”